Coyote’s Niños Crew
- SEANWICHES
- Nov 17
- 5 min read
Mexico Adventures:
Playa del Carmen to El Cuyo Edition
You land late Friday night and I’ll be up waiting, probably half-baked on chilled mezcal, sitting on the couch in my underwear like a low-budget concierge. That’s the kind of quality service you get when you visit us. Five stars if you know what’s good for you.
Dia Uno
We'll keep it simple. A short walk to the Playa 72 Colosio, where the sand is soft and the water stays warm enough to make you forget your sins. If you managed to smuggle the dogs onto the plane, bring them, this beach doesn’t judge. There are a couple of cafés on the way, so we can grab a quick bite if you need fuel. Morning swims and breakfast Modelos are very much on the menu.
For lunch, I’m campaigning hard for Birria de la 30 because few things unite humanity like meat braised into submission, folded into a tortilla with queso, and dunked into consomé. It’s one of my personal top-tier spots, but Maria has apparently moved on from her affection for it. Insert dramatic sad face emoji here. If the royal court is craving ceviche instead, fine, we’ll pull an audible and find something that fits the princess’s needs.
Then it’s pool time! Day margaritas, piña coladas, questionable tanning decisions. Nothing says gentrification like lounging by the rooftop pool with cocktails while the workers across the street haul cement in the sun. Sorry?
That’s where my planning privileges end. I was only allowed to shape the first chapter. After that, we hand the clipboard to Maria, and I have to keep my mouth shut about all the street food options or she’ll slap the muzzle back on.
On second thought, I think we’ll whip up some ceviche for the rooftop, because evidently I don’t listen very well. After writing this, I was informed that I get to plan your last day while she’s working. So the Birria de la 30 pilgrimage and the street taco crawl will have to wait until she clocks out… or whenever we feel brave enough to stray from the pack leader.
Don’t worry. There will always be street-side stands on our adventures!
The Mission
A road trip north to El Cuyo. Not to be confused with my Culo, which is a whole different landmark, or so a few bathroom walls have claimed. El Cuyo is about two and a half hours from Playa, tucked into its own quiet corner of sand and salt air. The road heads north all formal and paved, then eventually sighs, kicks off its shoes, and turns into beach wind and dirt tracks. By then, you know you’re getting close.
El Cuyo used to make its living off salt, and the old pink salt flats still shimmer on the edge of town if you catch the sun just right. These days it’s fishermen and kite surfers ruling the coastline, with white sand and water so shallow and clear it feels like a trick of the light. Expect barefoot kids, dogs who refuse to work for a living, and fishermen hauling in the morning catch like they’ve been doing it forever.
It’s not polished. That’s the point. No Señor Frog’s. No flashy chain restaurants. No overpriced neon cocktails built for influencers. Just simple food, long beaches, and enough breeze to rearrange your worldview.
The Journey
The plan is not to rush. I think we should stop for at least one pyramid and one cenote on the way. Maybe a couple more on the way back? This where you get a little input, but let’s not pretend this is a full democracy. I had to pry this decision-making power out of the Kremlin already.
Pick a pyramid. Pick a cenote. Hike a little, swim a little, then cruise into El Cuyo feeling a little more cultured, a little cooler, and hungry for something local to eat.
Below are the contenders, written short because of, you know who’s, attention span.
Cenotes
Five Cenotes Park
Cost: About 25 dollars USD Drive time from Playa del Carmen: 1 hour 50 minutes
Touristy, yes, but also the easiest win. Multiple cenotes in one place, each with its own vibe. Open-air pools, caves, blue water that belongs on a screensaver. Good for quick decisions and people who can’t commit.
Cenote Choj Ha
Cost: About 8 to 10 dollars USD Drive time from Playa del Carmen: 1 hour 40 minutes
A small cave that opens into cold, silver-blue water. You descend into it like a lizard returning to its birthplace. Quiet, atmospheric, and a perfect shock to the system. We’ve done it and it delivers.
Cenote Saamal
Cost: About 10 dollars USD Drive time from Playa del Carmen: 2 hours 5 minutes
Wide-open cenote with a waterfall blasting straight down into the pool. Big, dramatic, easy access. Great if we swing through Valladolid and want something cinematic without climbing into any tight spaces. Valladolid also looks like a place that would be fun to say we visited. If we do, I'd like to visit this bar/restaurant, La Joyita Cantina. a good friend of mine recommended it.
Pyramids
Coba Pyramid Ruins
Cost: About 6 dollars USD Drive time from Playa del Carmen: 1 hour 25 minutes
Deep in the jungle with quiet paths and serious ancient energy. The main pyramid is tall and wrapped in trees. It feels like an accidental discovery, which is my favorite flavor of archaeology. Closest stop that lines up cleanly with the El Cuyo route.
El Castillo, Tinum, Yucatán
Cost: About 8 to 10 dollars USD Drive time from Playa del Carmen: 2 hours 10 minutes
This is not the Tulum one. This is the standalone ruin in a quiet corner of Yucatán. Fewer crowds, easier wandering, and a vibe that feels untouched. Ideal if you want something impressive without the circus.
Chichén Itzá (The same place as above)
Cost: About 30 dollars USD Drive time from Playa del Carmen: 2 hours 20 minutes
The heavyweight. One of the Seven Wonders. Massive, geometrically perfect, and worth seeing at least once in your life. It’s the furthest from Playa, but the highway is smooth and the payoff is big. If you want the brag, this is the one.
Ekʼ Balam
Cost: About 10 to 12 dollars USD Drive time from Playa del Carmen: 2 hours minutes
Link: Ek’ Balam Archaeological Zone
Ekʼ Balam means “Black Jaguar,” and the place lives up to the name. It was once the seat of a Maya kingdom, peaking around 800 CE, and the ruins have a different energy from the bigger sites. The star is the Acropolis, a massive tiered pyramid covered in carved jaws, masks, and stucco figures that look like they crawled out of a myth. You can climb it too, which pays off with a wide-open jungle panorama that feels ancient and untouched. It’s quieter than Chichén Itzá, less polished, more exploratory, and the kind of site where half the experience is wandering through ruins that feel like they’ve been waiting for you.
Let's Do This!
And that’s the game, kids. Your choices await. Pyramid or pyramid-adjacent. Cenote or cave of cold-water regret. Snacks, swims, ruins, road tunes, and whatever questionable decisions we make on the way to El Cuyo. Pucker up for road blocks.
So pack a swimsuit, a sense of humor, and that “sure, why the fuck not” attitude, because this whole thing is happening with or without your emotional stability. We’re getting in the car, hunting old stones and blue water, and wrapping it up sandy, sun-tired, and several tacos happier.
Vamos! Coyote’s Niños Adventure.
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